Thank you, winter
by foxface123
Summary: AU where ghouls don't exist and it's just a sick Ken trying to express himself to his best friend, and crush, Hideyoshi. HIDEKANE.


**HideKane yo. AU in which ghouls don't even exist and a sick Ken tries to express himself to his best friend, and crush, Hide.**

 **I'm a little rusty. But I hope I still got it!**

 **Enjoy!**

 **ALL RIGHTS BELONG TO ISHIDA-SENSEI. I DO NOT OWN TOKYO GHOUL OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS FROM TOKYO GHOUL.**

 **/**

Kaneki was sick.

It was very rare that he ever became as sick as he was. He had a high fever that caused his cheeks to become red and his skin to radiate heat. Even after taking several allergy pills, his nose continued to run with mucus. If he tried to stand he would become dizzy and would have to sit right back down again. The lack of being able to walk was the worst and most annoying symptom for Kaneki, because his throat was dry and sore, but he could not go into the kitchen and get a glass of water.

He had texted Hide, telling his friend that he wouldn't be going to school. Usually, he would have gotten a response right away, but there was an ill-fitting silence from the hyper blonde. Kaneki brushed it off. Hide was probably busy in Asian History, and it wasn't fair of Kaneki to distract him.

Taking a deep breath and gathering almost all of his strength, Kaneki tries once again to stand. The blood rushes to his head and the world tilts and spirals, everything blurring together in a dull gray mass. He balances himself, holding out both of his arms in front of him. He feels a bit foolish stumbling around in the darkened apartment, but he knows he must push past the spurious humiliation and get to the kitchen.

Once he has control over himself, he carefully makes his way forward. Each step is like a punch to the gut. Kaneki endures, fighting through the pain and nausea, thinking about the cold glass of water that awaits him. That was his motive now. He thought about the how the ice would touch the glass, the soft _clink clink_ practically echoing in his ears. How it would cool his hot fingers when he grasped the cup, how there would be a water ringlet left on the counter when he lifts it up. When he presses it against his lips, the rim would bump against his teeth, and Kaneki would finally know the satisfaction that is hydration. Yes. He was already there, coming up to the front door and making that turn into the kitchen.

He halts when there's a knock at the door. He looks towards it with vague astonishment, for a small, quiet chant of _Water, Water, Water_ had started in the back of his mind, and he couldn't tell if the sound had been real or not. The second knock reassures Kaneki that he had heard right the first time. There was indeed someone at his door.

Hesitantly, Kaneki starts for the door, nearly tripping over his shoes that were set neatly against the wall. He fumbles with the latch for a moment before swinging the door inward. The sudden brightness of the midday sun causes him to squint his eyes, but he realizes that it's not only the sun that's causing this momentary blindness. For there stood his best friend, Hideyoshi Nagachika, in all his orange glory. He has a big grin plastered on his face and lifts up two bags for Kaneki to see.

"Yo, Ken!" Hide says.

Moments like this would lead to an exclamation of gratitude and surprise. Then, it would be followed by an invitation inside the establishment and out of the heat of the day. Kaneki knew this is what he should have done. It's what his mother taught him to do, to be humble and inviting and nice. But Hide had interrupted his journey to quench his thirst, and he was only feeling annoyance and hollow despair at his failed mission.

"What are you doing here, Hide?" Kaneki can barely get the words out of his cotton mouth.

Hide's eyebrows go up in that paternal-like manner that they do when he catches on to Kaneki's irritation, and Kaneki feels a little guilty for his rudeness.

"You weren't at school." He stares at Kaneki condescendingly as if it were Kaneki's own fault that he was sick.

"I texted you, Hide." Kaneki says.

"Yeah, but you didn't tell me specifically that you had a cold. So that left me wondering just _how_ sick you were. And then I got worried. You could have been in the hospital, you know? And then that would mean you would have missed _more_ school. And I would have been all alone. Rabbits die of loneliness, Kaneki!"

"That's a bit of an overstatement, Hide."

"Have you ever had a rabbit before, Kaneki?" Hide shakes his head, answering his own question for Kaneki. "No, you haven't! But remember that quiz we took in the fifth grade? It said my spirit animal was a rabbit. So I did a bunch of research on rabbits and my mom even got me one after we came back from that field trip to those Onsens. Remember that rabbit, Kaneki? The little white one? You were too scared to hold it because you didn't want it to poop on you and-,"

Kaneki cuts him off by sliding back from the door and holding out his hand. Hide stops ranting and grins, stepping in through the door.

"Hey Ken," Hide disappears into the kitchen. "Why's it so dark in here?"

"The light gives me a headache." Kaneki drags his feet past the kitchen and over to his bed. He slowly crawls under the sheets and pops his head out. He can see Hide from the open window in the kitchen and watches him. Hide pulls two mugs down from the cabinet and makes his way over to the fridge. "What are you making?"

"Hot Choc-o-late!" Hide yells this in English. It takes Kaneki a second to understand.

"What else did you get?" Besides allergy pills and water, Kaneki hasn't eaten all day. The thought of hot chocolate makes his stomach rumble, and he's curious to know what other goodies Hide got.

"I went to the store after Asian History and grabbed things for your favorite food!" Hide says.

Kaneki brightens up. "Hamburger steak?"

"Hamburger Steak-y!" Hide once again exclaims in English. Kaneki smiles. Hide decided to learn English after listening to this Western song he thought was really cool, but didn't understand at all. Their professor was surprised when Hide had showed up to school that next Monday, spewing English slang and having full conversations. It was a little choppy, but Kaneki thought it was cute.

His face gets a little hotter at the thought and he hides under the covers again. That was another thing he was currently dealing with, besides the cold...

These thoughts he's been having about Hide.

It started happening a few weeks ago when they went to this little café by Kaneki's favorite book store. They were sitting outside on the patio, and Hide was pointing out some pretty girls who would walk by. He asked Kaneki who he thought was the cutest girl there, so Kaneki pointed to a girl standing across the street. She had a yellow summer dress on and her long brown hair was up in a bow.

 _"I suppose that girl over there is pretty cute."_

Hide had looked to where Kaneki pointed and nodded. He grabbed his chin in a contemplating manner and looked back at Kaneki, then towards the girl again.

 _"Yeah."_ He had murmured. _"Not as cute as you though, Ken.*"_

Kaneki presses his face further into the covers. He had no idea what had motivated Hide to say something so... abrupt like that. There was no further discussion on the topic, besides a few attempts from Kaneki to get something out of his friend. Each attempt would be avoided by the blonde, though, and Kaneki would be left wondering.

After that incident, Kaneki would find himself thinking about Hide more and more to the point where it got annoyingly redundant. He couldn't read any of his favorite books, because he would think about how it would sound if Hide read them to him. He couldn't get a cup of coffee by himself, because he would think about how much better it would taste if Hide got it with him. He couldn't study alone, because he would think about how time would pass by so much faster with Hide there. It was a constant thought; him and Hide together. It always hovered in the back of his mind, even when he managed to become fully distracted. It would sneak up on him in the most inconvenient times.

He was certain that if he didn't do something about _i_ _t_ , he would go crazy.

"Here, Kaneki." Hide's voice cuts through his thoughts and he peers out from under the covers. A mug is being extended towards him and he can see steam rising from it.

As he takes the offered mug from his friend, Kaneki unintentionally notices that stubborn and yet endearing smile that's always set on Hide's lips. The smile wasn't premeditated, it was just how Hide was.

"You should frown more." Kaneki says. Hide tilts his head and takes a sip from his own mug, sitting down besides Kaneki.

"Huh? You want me to look angry?" Hide asks.

"No. Not exactly." Kaneki tries to think of a better way to word his request. "More like... You smile too often."

"Well you smile too little." Hide says.

Kaneki agrees with him begrudgingly. It was Hide's fault. His friend didn't know that, however, because he was oblivious to the internal war that was happening inside Kaneki.

"Read to me." If he was going to be coupled with the very cause of his distress, they would at least be doing what he wanted to do. "Takatsuki Sen."

"Alright." Hide holds up his hand. "You have to take some medicine first, though."

"You got medicine, too?" Kaneki's heart swells. "Hide... You..."

Biting his lip, Kaneki rests the mug in his lap. He should tell Hide about what had been crowding his thoughts these past few weeks. Why he had been shying away from his friend. The term "shy" was being used lightly.

"Hide." Kaneki has to take a long, deep breath before continuing. "There's something that I think you should know..."

He turns towards Hide, ready to confess. Kaneki is a bit deterred when he realizes how close together the two are. Hide smiles and waits patiently for what Kaneki has to say, his breath lightly spanning across Kaneki's face when he breathe's out. The warm air tickles Kaneki's nose and he feels his face heat up.

"U-Um..." He tries to compose himself, ignoring the ticklish nose. "It's just that... H-Hide you are... I feel..."

That ticklish feeling becomes stronger. A small sliver of fear shoots through his stomach.

"I feel a s-sneeze coming on." He warns.

Hide doesn't have much time to react before saliva mists onto his face. The noise that had accompanied the sneeze echoes throughout the small apartment. Kaneki slaps a hand over his mouth and stares, horrified, at Hide. Hide blinks and raises up his arm, using his sleeve to wipe away the disgusting residue Kaneki placed on him. That was it, Kaneki decides, resting his face in his palms. There goes his opportunity to tell Hide how he felt. There were many embarrassing things that had happened to him before, but this had to have been the worst one.

A quiet laugh worms its way into his ears. Kaneki can't bring himself to look up at his amused friend, drawing further into himself with each chuckle.

"Wow, Kaneki." Hide's laughter shakes the bed a little. "Is that what you had to tell me?"

"... Shut up."

"Come on, man, it's not that bad." Hide touches Kaneki's wrists. "Hey, Ken... It's just us two here. No one saw."

 _You saw._ Kaneki wanted to say. _You saw and I'll never live it down._

"What did you want to tell me?" Hide starts getting anxious, tugging on Kaneki's wrists. "I'll listen. I promise."

Slowly, Kaneki lifts his head up and meets Hide's gaze. He starts to feel a little better looking into those brown eyes that become lighter in the sun. Hide smiles a little and nods his head, encouraging Kaneki to continue.

Kaneki doesn't think he can say it. Yes, his friend deserved to know. But he didn't think about how Hide would feel. Maybe that comment he made was just a joke. If Hide rejected him... No, what if Hide was disgusted with him? What if he didn't want to be friends anymore? He couldn't lose Hide. He was all Kaneki had. His aunt didn't care about him. He didn't have any other friends. Hide was his voice and made him feel important. If keeping Hide meant not telling him the truth, then he would just have to keep lying.

"The... medicine." Kaneki says weakly, avoiding Hide's stare.

It takes a moment to register for Hide. He nods and gets up to move into the kitchen, but stands by the bed for a moment.

"If it's about what I said at the café..." He says. "If it freaked you out or something..."

His friends intuitive mind never ceases to shock Kaneki. Of course Hide would have figured out what was bothering him. Well, mostly, that is.

"No!" Kaneki doesn't mean to shout. "It didn't freak me out. It actually..."

He grows silent. Hide opens his mouth to speak up when his phone goes off. He pulls it out of his pocket and reads the screen, sighing.

"One sec." Hide says, walking into the kitchen.

Kaneki waits patiently, trying not to be nosey, and opens up a book that had been laying on his nightstand. A few minutes later, Hide walks back in and smiles at him.

"Sorry Ken, that was my boss. She needs me to come in. Apparently, Toshi-san burnt himself when he was working the fryer." Hide starts to gather his things. "I'll call you when I get off."

Trying to hide his disappointment, Kaneki walks Hide to the door. He's thankful the dizziness has left him.

"Be safe." He says as Hide steps out the door. Before Hide can leave, Kaneki grabs his arm. "S-See you later tonight?"

"Of course!"

And so Kaneki watches, full of remorse, as his best friend and crush rushes down the steps of his apartment complex and disappears from view. He sighs and leans back against the door. The air is a little bit chilly and Kaneki can tell winter was just around the corner.

 _Well._ He thinks. _At least there will be more chances to get sick... Thank you, winter._

 **/**

 **Ha. Yeah. It's open-ended. I'm feeling a little evil today. ^^**

 **Hope you enjoyed!**


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